Work Thus Far
Alright... so I have decided to use this space to share the many wonderful comments I receive from the customers that call me. Incase you are unaware, I work as a customer representative at a publishing company and on a daily basis get screamed at by several customers. I rather enjoy it... but that is because I am a callous bastard and never really mind having people scream at me.
Now the way it works is college students go door to door selling books trying to raise money for college tuiton. Now this means that if a customer wants to cancel their order they call me up in the office and I take care of that. But of course people like to give you a reason as to why they are cancelling... adn let me tell you... I could not give a rat's ass.
Top Excuses for Summer 2004:
1. I need to cancel my order. My babies' daddies have stopped paying child support!!!
(I do not believe that the phrase Baby's Daddy should ever be plural)
2. I NEED TO CANCEL MY ORDER BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK WHEN I MADE IT!!!!
So Far in 2005:
1.
Customer: I want to complain about this college student.
Me: Alright ma'am what are your concerns?
Customer: He opened my door.
Me: To your house?
Customer: NO!!! HE OPENED MY SCREEN DOOR?
Me: Oh. Wait. Just the screen door? Did he open up the actual door to yor house?
Customer: No!!! BUT HE COULD HAVE?
Me: But did he?
Customer: NO!!! BUT HE COULD HAVE THAT IS THE WHOLE PROBLEM!!!
Me: Well ma'am I don't see the problem. Could have and did are two very different things.
Customer: ---- insert a vast amount of expletives ---
2. Me: Alrighty ma'am we have your order officially cancelled.
Customer: Can you call up the college student and let him know how pissed I am that he came to my door.
Me: Yes ma'am I can do that.
Customer: And tell that mother fucker that I hate him and I never want to see his ugly mug around here ever again. A
Me: Well ma'am I won't tell him that verbatim but I will let him know that you were upset.
Customer: Damnit!!! LET HIM KNOW VERBATIM! And make him feel real bad too. A few days ago I was running track with my kids and I tore the tendoins in my heel. Tell him that was his fault. Tell him now that I am hopping in crutches lookin like a real babe!!! YOU DO THAT... TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!
Me: ----insert awkward silence -----
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